why bands hardly ever get it right

Hi there

I thought I would just throw in a few choice experiences for all you blog watchers out there.

Here is the first thing that I get asked about and perhaps the most pertinent. Over the years I have been asked this a million times - how do I get started and become famous? By now I have concluded that that is the wrong question. Instead ask yourself this:


WHY do great bands hardly ever get famous?

In reply here is one possible answer:

The maths that means it’s almost inevitable.

Or to make life easier and save you years of heartache and empty pockets -

How to get it wrong - 101

The music business is a weird and wonderful thing. People call it an industry – which it is in a way – but it is more like a medieval kingdom where loads of evil robber barons roam free. For every kingdom to be built a million peasants must give their lives. Are you one of the peasants or Kings?

Think of it this way, there are about one million bands at any given moment who all think they are the best thing since the Beatles. Of that million bands perhaps 10% have talent and the rest just like to think they have it.

From that 10% there are about 10% who have any idea of how the music business operates and generally they are the older ones who have been through it all before.

Sadly in our fickle world no one wants to look or listen to old musicians so the 10% who could do it are out of the game from day 1. That leaves the 90% who have no idea.

Some of the remaining 90% have a contact who says they can help – lets assume this leaves half of them in the game – that’s about 5% of our original group. In this example that’s 50 000 bands.

Now - Ask yourself if the people who say they can do things are always realists and you will undoubtedly answer – NO! but for our purposes lets assume 50% have a chance of delivering – that means 25 000 bands with some know how and talent are still in with a chance.

In America every year there are around 30 000 cd’s released. So if you assume that 30% of those are new acts that leaves a grand total of about 10 000 chances for an album up for grabs and 25 000 bands competing worldwide. Around a 1:2 chance to get a deal. Sounds great doesn’t it. You are one of the certainties and can’t fail to get in there. From now on lets assume the Gods have favoured you and you have signed with a label.

Now lets ask the key question – what are you doing to make it work?
Not what has your label done – YOU?

Have you got gigs?
Have you got songs?
Have you got fans?
Have you toured outside your local area?

Frankly who cares? Most bands do and get nowhere. Do it anyway but don’t expect it to pay off everytime. Those are the basics that you must do before you are even a band.

That is the industry part – sweat and tears in Dubuque on a wet Wednesday in May when your PA has blown and the drummer has a busted finger. INDUSTRY means something – it means work and that means an aching back not a sore finger from hammering frets.

If you want success you need to look at other angles before you start.

What genre are you?
Don’t tell me a cross between Rap and Metal. I don’t care.
Tell me radio categories - AAA, ROCK, AC – What?

Why Radio?
Because that is the kingdom you are trying to take over. Not TV or any other media – RADIO.

If you want to be realistic about your chances aim high and expect to fall.

Don’t be picky and do the usual band thing of saying “I fucking hate Shania Twain (replace with any act you hate). If you hate them you know them; If you know them they are successful and where you want to be. Hate them because they have your place in the pantheon of music not because they play trite music. Learn from success.

Every band needs to know that trying to emulate Radiohead or Bob Marley is not going to work. The guys at Clear Channel don’t give a fuck how good you are – all they care about is how many listeners can you hold until the next ad break. Your label is in the business of doing that for them and if it don’t fit they won’t wear it.

Remember this fact if nothing else – your audience doesn’t know or care what chords you are playing. They know what makes their hearts beat faster and that’s all they know.

Every label sets out with the sole ambition of being real music fans until the dollars start fading and the thrill of signing new acts is replaced by the reality of what each new act means in terms of work. You may think your label is shit and doesn’t do anything for you. Maybe they don’t but instead of blaming them ask yourself why?

Have you had a row about art or track lists or songs or politics or any of the other million things that affect daily life?
If you have what was the objection?
Can you deal with it?
If not walk away.
Otherwise bite the bullet and get on with it.

What good is being right about everything when you are broke and miserable. Believe me it is much easier to be right when you are rich – ask Mr Murdoch.

Bands always complain about Distro and forget that distro is just that – it isn’t a permanent sales team ready to do your bidding. They don’t have a magic wand to make stores buy your album. Basically distro is a warehouse and few trucks with cd’s in. They deliver product you need to deliver value.

Everyone and I mean everyone at the sharp end of the music business is upbeat about everything. They have to be or they would all commit suicide.

Musicians must believe they are the greatest otherwise why write new stuff?
Labels believe their acts are special otherwise why sign them?

At the dull end things are different.
Lawyers get paid and have no judgement issues.
Manufacturers and distro don’t care if its music or tampons so long as it sells.
PR gets paid for making stuff up so they will say anything.
Radio doesn’t need you – if it did would all those Gold stations work? There is enough music there to satisfy anyone.

So what the hell do you do?

Easy

Decide who you want to sing for – If you know who the song is for everything else is easy.

Look in a mirror and see if you are looking good or crap. Adjust accordingly

Figure out what you can do to help your label to convince radio and distro and fans and every one else to buy your records.

Press the flesh. (I mean work every situation as a way to get the word out – not wanking!)

Play every gig like it’s your first. Energy is a wonderful thing – it transmits itself ten fold.

Relax in the mansion and spend 20 years slagging off Britney for leaving her trash in the drive next door.